By Jason Adams, MyNewPlaidPants

… if a Jigsaw could see Saw? Happy Halloween, people! I know you’re all busy slipping into your various-stages-of-slutty costumes right now, but grant me a moment to tell you about this weekend’s movies. Then you can get back to burying the razor blades in the candy corn baskets, I promise!

For a holiday so wonderful it’s a shame we horror fans have been saddled with a series of films as awful as the Saw franchise has churned for the past what-feels-like-a-millennia. What is this, number 37 now? I stopped watching them after the third film and haven’t spent a moment regretting it. Still this will probably make a bunch of money this weekend, especially with the whole 3D gimmick. Make sure to wipe the bone-shards and viscera out of your eyes upon exiting the theater.

If you’re in the mood for something scary with a little more brain matter cooked into the horror soufflé then I might steer you towards the super-low-budget Monsters which has been playing On Demand for a few weeks now but is hitting some big screens this weekend too. It’s a lovely little film, which seems an odd thing to say about a movie filled with Lovecraftian tentacle beasts, but it’s an odd movie. Odd and lovely.

The third film in the Swedish trilogy of Lisbeth Salander stories, this one called The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet’s Nest, is hitting the art-houses this weekend. Or you could just wait for David Fincher’s 300 million dollar version in 2017 and spare yourself those exhausting subtitles.

Last weekend’s box office was dominated by another horror sequel, Paranormal Activity 2, which ran away with the largest opening weekend sum for a horror movie ever. Ever! I had no idea that all it would take is 40 million dollars to get that distinction. Jackass 3D was in second with just over 21 million dollars, which ought to cover by my estimates 1/10^th of the open festering sores budget.

What do we think will happen at this week’s box office? Saw will presumably be big, especially with those 3D ticket prices – how much will it steal away from PA2’s second weekend? Will PA2 topple or will Halloween put candy in every executive’s basket come Monday morning? Or will everybody stay home Halloween night and watch AMC’s The Walking Dead to get their horror fix instead? So many questions!

The big movie stories this week have been a name for the third Batman movie by Christopher Nolan – The Dark Knight Rises – as well as a rejection of any room for The Riddler at the inn. Rumors also have Nolan searching for actresses for a significant female role in the film, but no word on who she’d be.

In other sequel news, James Cameron’s planning on shooting the second and third Avatar movies next, he says. I suggest you seek out the press release they issued – it’s so over the top messianic that I almost felt my palms split open into cinematically afflicted stigmata. Praise JC is arisen!

Be sure to enter our Sex and the City 2 sweepstakes for your chance to win a DVD!

FOLLOW THE BEEHIVE!   CHECK OUT THE GOSSIP!